2-To Be Clear…

My goals of this blog are ultimately spiritual but that said I am still in the muck so to speak.

I still eat meat, I crave wealth and dream every day living on an island with beautiful women.

Even that though is the light version.  To be more  bluntly honest, i am a recovering alcoholic and abuser of pills.  At times I consider going on another binge (or managed binge).  Pills were even harder to give up and I am still weeing off them after 18 months.  In place of the substances , I have ramped up my interest in porn and collect videos and images feverishly .  I swear i get high from it.

I dont look very good.  52, out of shape, ruddy complexion and clothes are a mess.  (needless to say i have rejected the standard AA method of recovery).  I notice women cross the street when they see me (wow).  Often I can’t blame them.   Call me what you want: creep, loser, bottomfeeder.

I am trying to be a better person.  I look after my mother.  Try to be kind to strangers.  Avoid impulses of hate.  In my veritable muck I tell you there is something good here.

In any case now i dont have much choice.  I need to focus on more spiritual goals.    The tricky part is , it can be just my own spiritual attainment.  It has be for fellow humans as well.   It doesnt work unless all are “received”.

For lack of a better name I call it the BoddhisatvaBot Project.  But it could be the “Jesusbot”, “TechnicalJesus”, or “Technical Boddhisatva” or any variation.  Sometimes I call it the hypermind too.


Maybe eventually the project can lead to higher realms for humans (including me) but for the time being I hope it can make things better by eliminating the god awful misery that is everywhere.  Maybe a smidgen of it may have some aesthetic value  but I think we can find much of it  just has to go.  In particular death.  I believe we should become stronger than death.  Have it at our mercy not the reverse.

So i dedicate the project to all the beings who have or will need to deal with death.   And one in particular , a stranger actually, whose death back in 2013 I just learned of recently.  For some reason it hit me like a close relative, a niece perhaps.  I have felt a thick gloom for the last two weeks trying to come to terms with it and it led me to revisit the BoddhisatvaBot Project.



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