My goals of this blog are ultimately spiritual but that said I am still in the muck so to speak.
I still eat meat, I crave wealth and dream every day living on an island with beautiful women.
Even that though is the light version. To be more bluntly honest, i am a recovering alcoholic and abuser of pills. At times I consider going on another binge (or managed binge). Pills were even harder to give up and I am still weeing off them after 18 months. In place of the substances , I have ramped up my interest in porn and collect videos and images feverishly . I swear i get high from it.
I dont look very good. 52, out of shape, ruddy complexion and clothes are a mess. (needless to say i have rejected the standard AA method of recovery). I notice women cross the street when they see me (wow). Often I can’t blame them. Call me what you want: creep, loser, bottomfeeder.
I am trying to be a better person. I look after my mother. Try to be kind to strangers. Avoid impulses of hate. In my veritable muck I tell you there is something good here.
In any case now i dont have much choice. I need to focus on more spiritual goals. The tricky part is , it can be just my own spiritual attainment. It has be for fellow humans as well. It doesnt work unless all are “received”.
For lack of a better name I call it the BoddhisatvaBot Project. But it could be the “Jesusbot”, “TechnicalJesus”, or “Technical Boddhisatva” or any variation. Sometimes I call it the hypermind too.
Maybe eventually the project can lead to higher realms for humans (including me) but for the time being I hope it can make things better by eliminating the god awful misery that is everywhere. Maybe a smidgen of it may have some aesthetic value but I think we can find much of it just has to go. In particular death. I believe we should become stronger than death. Have it at our mercy not the reverse.
So i dedicate the project to all the beings who have or will need to deal with death. And one in particular , a stranger actually, whose death back in 2013 I just learned of recently. For some reason it hit me like a close relative, a niece perhaps. I have felt a thick gloom for the last two weeks trying to come to terms with it and it led me to revisit the BoddhisatvaBot Project.
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